The Lord has been gracious in His patience to soften and mold my heart and mind. As weeks passed, the request of special music became a validated need as the Sabbath service continued with no special music. It became a longing and a burdened desire. I knew the meaning behind His order of the services. The ministry of psalm to go before the receiving of the message was to soften and be still the hearts.
Colossians 3:16. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
Time and time again, God used music to minister to the hearts of His people. To awaken their soul to worship through their adversities to show who God is. Worship in psalm was a sign of His people acknowledging the presence of the Lord who walks with them through all things.
Psalms 57:7-8 7. My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. 8. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn.
God was bringing to my remembrance His glory and presence within psalm and music. The many battles won through worship. Not by our own merits but by inviting and acknowledging He who is our Advocator, Savior, and Friend. I messaged my sister in Christ to notify her, I would like to do special music next Sabbath. I kept this between God and me through the week as He prayerfully poured into me with encouraging me, I am not alone. Overcoming my doubt is acknowledging the opportunity to solely rely on Him to prepare me. This was a personal test of faith that I needed to discern alone, if I will go forward believing and trusting God is for me.
Sabbath morning came. We went to church and God truly was among us. The children's story was shared by a fellow sister in Christ who spoke specifically about worshipping in psalm. God was ministering to my heart speaking through this sister, reminding me that is not a stage, but an altar of worship. A testimony of God, nothing more, nothing less.
As I got up and shared a small testimony regarding my wrestle and conviction from when I received the request to now, it truly is by faith I stand desiring to testify. My victory to stand despite myself, is because of Him. Not because I can sing (because I can't) but because He is my song. As I spoke I could feel my voice cracking and my eyes begin to water. The thing I knew was bound to happen because I tend to cry when speaking about my journey with God. I get emotional when I get vulnerable. As I began to sing, I continued to cry because the words were not just a testimony but a continued message of my own continuous renewing and need. A true cry of seeking and remembrance. I ended up messing up and started again closing my eyes to focus on the message rather seeing all the eyes pressing on me. But then, unexpectedly I realized a choir had started. Many were singing along and it prompted me to open my eyes, realizing it wasn't eyes looking at me but hearts. Hearts opening up willingly receiving the testimony and joining in testimony. I heard my children sing and I glanced over to them with a smile. God was graciously saying I was not alone. My brethren in Christ were also saying, I am not alone. 🥹🥲🔥🙌
I definitely am not the most talented in singing. I definitely will avoid being in the spotlight. Yet here, God was being victorious by making strides of healing and growth in my walk to heed the call despite my shortcomings and with extending the message of humility to stay the course of understanding, God is looking for willing souls. He is in the business of winning souls. Not looking for the best preachers, best choir, best deacons, best elders, best dorcas, children's ministry...no, He's not looking for you to sacrifice or even uplift your talents, He's looking for your obedience.
Isaiah 6:8 "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I, send me."
Here God was bridging the vulnerability my teenagers and I were seeking in the space of fellowship within our extended church from our home church. God was calling me to lead in a space of repairing a breach from my youth to my children's youth.
I got to converse with a few of my brothers and sisters in Christ after service. It was a blessing to show vulnerability to my brethren. It was a space I felt that was necessary too because so many are deceived into thinking we have it altogether. There is so much unpacking, unlearning, and learning on top of being diligent to cultivate habits and character development all awhile healing, mending and tending to being individuals and a family all at once. Meeting those needs and refining daily behind the scenes in our everyday life is truly experiencing the great controversy and practicing in faith the need to call upon the Lord. It's easy to sit in church for an hour or two because we understand that's not the challenge in this season for us. My kids love church because they have come to love our home church, so it's natural to sit as they would in family worship. It's the every day living of working together and yielding to His Spirit between worship to apply those principles and lessons through the week, testing our relationships and individuality. We have been seasoned with experience having been married for 15 years now and with 7 children but that savor came in due season of due diligence of consistent sowing in faith despite the mistakes, challenges, weariness, selfishness, stubbornness, and doubts. God was still knocking and as many times as we fell down to our own demise, God extended His everlasting arm to get back up and continue the narrow road.
Proverbs 24:6 "For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief."
Luke 16:10-12 "He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?"
As much as so many have witnessed change, there is much more to be changed still. We are still a working progress of sanctification. So I am not ashamed to show vulnerability because it is a strength of mine. In my youthful training by my dad's desire to dwell and converse with me, I learned vulnerability connects minds, hearts, and souls. Vulnerability is the softening of the heart to seeking a need outside of oneself. That was the talent that God wanted to use in the opportunity of me singing. It was not about my singing but the vulnerability of obedience to be used despite oneself.
1 Samuel 15:22 "And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams."
As we did family worship to close Sabbath that evening. We went around for open discussion on what blessings we received and learned. One of my teenagers expressed they thought it was pretty cool that the church started to sing along to help me sing. I smiled because it wasn't a chorus we ever sang in church for song service but many knew the song. God's people have a certain song and when they are called to worship, they will join in one accord to sing of the victory won in knowing Him who reigns in their hearts who has become their voice of truth, light, and love, unifying them as one flesh, one body.
Exodus 15:2-3 2. The Lord is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation: He is my God, and I will prepare Him an habitation, my father's God, and I will exalt Him. 3. The Lord is a man of war: The Lord is His name.
The song: The Savior is Waiting
The Savior is waiting to enter your heart
Why don't you let Him come in
There's nothing in this world to keep you apart
What is your answer to Him
Time after time He has waited before
And now He is waiting again
To see if you're willing to open the door
Oh how He wants to come in
If you'll take one step towards the Savior, my friend
You'll find His arms open wide
Receive Him, and all of your darkness will end
Within your heart He'll abide
Time after time He has waited before
And now He is waiting again
To see if you're willing to open the door
Oh how He wants to come in
Oh how He wants to come in
Winning Battles through Worship:
I. The Battle is not Ours to Fight, but to Worship Him whose Battle it is!
As our Creator, Savior, and Friend, God continues to minister to us our need to trust and
obey Him. Only to believe we serve a King who is just and good. A King who goes before us on the
battlefield with the fight being His and the victory being in our faith to yield to a faithful King.
(2 Chronicles 20:15) And he said, "LISTEN, ALL YOU OF JUDAH and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: 'Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God's.
Reflection:
It's funny how our human nature always want to be used in a mighty memorable way and when God gives us a simple order, we are offended. It reveals pride, selfishness, and unbelief. I think of Naaman as a leader who feels the instructions are unreasonable. I have come to truly realize, the "simple things" are not that simple especially when your character is tested. Moses only had to hit the rock once but his anger got the best of him and he hit it twice when he was to speak to it. These examples are showing my willingness even as a leader is being tested among witnessing, my individual growth is still being refined. (2 Kings 5:1-19; Exodus 17; Numbers 20)II. The War is Spiritual, We need a Spiritual Leader & Savior!
War is defined as an intense armed conflict between states, governments, societies, or paramilitary
groups such as mercenaries, insurgents, and militias. Yet that is the definition of the wars conducted
between the kingdoms of this world. The first war was in heaven. It sounds like an oxymoron to say there
is war in heaven, a holy place of peace. Yet it was not a physical war like here on earth, but a spiritual war
of what thus saith the Lord. God is reminding His people, though we face physical wars there is a deeper
rooted war of sinful nature. The great controversy of good and evil. We are incapable of withstanding
unless we truly partake in the offering of the redemption plan by receiving Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
Reflection:
It's so easy to passively get caught up in positions, especially within leadership. Leaders have a great commission in leading. Good leaders understand being an effective leader is investing in the welfare of your people but most importantly showing them who leads you. Moses was commissioned to lead but he was not a good speaker. God redirected his acknowledged weakness by questioning who made man's mouth? God was inviting Moses to reason this commission was not based on his strength but willingness. God had preserved Moses training of unlearning in the wilderness and now was the opportunity to test the condition of Moses heart to willingly trust and obey God's will.(Exodus 4)I must be honest and aware without God leading me, I am not fit to lead.III. As the Army of Christ, The Church MUST BE UNITED IN ONE ACCORD!
God describes His relationship with the church as a marriage in Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the
head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself it's Savior." They are to be
evenly yoked as one body, mind, and Spirit. When we have individually accepted being a part of the
body of Christ, we accept being as one with our brothers and sisters in Christ to the leading of God's
will in our lives. 1 Corinthians 12:12 "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the
members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ." This would lead us to be unified
in the work God has called us to do in the edifying of His people, also being a testament of His
leadership to unite all kindred, all nations, all sinful nature to be renewed and made whole as His.
When God speaks His order to His people to move in faith, and they take Him at His word to abide in
His will He is glorified. God is uplifted above our own understanding, will, and merits. He is honored and
we get to partake in the gospel by testifying of His goodness.
Exodus 15:1-3 1. Then sang Moses and the children of Israel this song unto the Lord, and spake, saying, I will sing unto the Lord, for He hath triumphed gloriously: the horse and his rider hath he thrown into the sea. 2. The Lord is my strength and song, and He is become my salvation" He is my God, and I will prepare Him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt Him. 3.The Lord is a man of war: The Lord is His name.
Reflection:
The state of the church is a reflection of the individual heart conditions within the church. When there is unison to trust and obey we can experience the blessings of moving as one. When there is unwillingness and disconnection it is a result of not being in one accord with God therefore unable to be one in worship together as one body.
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